10 Little Revelations to Transform the Way You View Life
Photo by Juanedc
Life is jam-packed full of learning experiences, isn’t it?
We’re always finding out new stuff about ourselves, other people, and our understanding of the world around us. Some of these discoveries alter our basic approach to life, while others we choose to ignore.
You might be going about your everyday business when suddenly you have an ‘A-Ha!’ moment. A flash of fresh insight that fundamentally changes the way you view things. Forever.
Occasionally, major revelations strike from out of nowhere like bright bolts of lightning. They illuminate your existing attitudes and beliefs to such an extent that you can never again see life like you did before.
For most of us, though, it’s a far less dramatic affair. We usually have slow-burn realizations that dawn on us during the normal experiences of living. Yet even these gradual understandings can radically shake up your world.
I’d like to share with you 10 little revelations that have really transformed how I think about life.
1. Never apologise for who you are
Do you often find that you say sorry for not being who other people want you to be? Perhaps you don’t have a lifestyle they approve of or maybe you disagree with their values. It could even be that the person is so narrow-minded that they simply dislike you because of your personality or appearance. It’s hurtful to be rejected for being yourself. But, it’s just as destructive to change because someone else requires you to. Constantly trying to please everyone will always leave you feeling unhappy and under intense pressure.
Remember that you’re allowed to be just who you are right now, without having to justify or explain yourself to anyone.
2. It’s OK to put yourself first
From a young age we’re encouraged to be helpful and attend to others. As we grow older, however, it’s easy to lose the balance between looking after ourselves and caring for family and friends. We devote more and more of our time and attention to the needs of those around us and neglect our own. Eventually, everyone suffers because you’re too exhausted and stressed out to cope. It’s essential that you invest in yourself first so that you can be a source of support to those that rely on you.
Make your own care a top priority then you’ll be well-equipped to give other folk the attention they need.
3. Ordinary people can do great things too
I used to think that only geniuses and superheroes could achieve fantastic things in life. Or, at the very least, I felt that to have any success you had to be a totally go-getting, risk-taking, all out entrepreneurial maverick. At heart, I’m a cautious, down-to-earth kinda guy. My personal experiences, though, have shown me the potential that comes when you take positive action – even if it is only one step in the right direction. Extraordinary things are happening around us every day … all achieved by ordinary folk like you and me.
Believe that it’s possible for you to achieve big goals as well – if you put in the hard work.
4. Some things shouldn’t wait until tomorrow
It’s only natural that we plan and live out our daily lives safe in the knowledge that we’ll have another opportunity to do it all again the following day. Yet, this security can cause us to become complacent and put off certain things that we really should deal with today. What if we knew that tomorrow wasn’t going to happen? What would you do differently today? I’m sure that not many of you would race to finish that delayed report or rush to deal with the work in your overflowing inbox or in-tray. For me, when my dad died there were so many words that I’d meant to tell him but never did because I kept putting it off to another day, which never came.
Say and do those important things that really matter today … while you still have the chance to.
5. All you can ever give is your best
Are you putting yourself through a whole load of unnecessary pressure as you strive for perfection? It’s time to ease up and realize that there is no such thing as ‘perfect’. It’s an impossible quest and an unachievable aim. Think of this: when you give your best to anything you do, this is as close as you’ll ever get to it. But, instead of being an unambitious and defeatist attitude to have, it’s a completely liberating position to take: because your best is always good enough.
Be reassured that when you’ve tried your very best, there’s no more you can possibly do.
6. Do what you love whenever you can
Nowadays we’re encouraged to find and follow our passions in life and at our jobs. No one would argue with the worthy objective of loving what we do and doing what we love. Unfortunately, reality forces the majority of us to settle for the practical option of simply having to do what we must to get by … and to hang with passion! Don’t, however, give up on creating your ideal passionate lifestyle – there will be some area at sometime where it’ll happen.
Even discovering a mini oasis of passion in a desert of boredom and routine can be just the refreshment you need. Be on the lookout to do something you love at every chance you get.
7. You’ll always feel second best
Who’s got the best car, the most money, the greatest success? We all like to know how we’re getting on in relation to our friends, neighbors, and peers. Comparing ourselves with others can lead to healthy competition except when it provokes jealousy, resentment, and associated unhelpful emotions. It’s difficult not to feel slightly envious at someone else’s good fortune. In comparison to another person, we often find it difficult to remain objective about our own performance. I gave up judging myself against the benchmarks set by others because I was never satisfied with what I’d done, which isn’t constructive on a regular basis.
Keep your eyes firmly focussed on your personal journey in life, and you’ll always be doing well.
8. Playing safe keeps success away
Fear is one of the biggest obstacles to us going after what we truly want in life. The fear of failure, of looking like a fool, even the fear of success itself can prevent us from reaching out towards our goals. In the past, I was never a fan of taking risks, preferring to avoid situations where it was difficult to predict the outcome. But, I knew deep down that, if I wasn’t ready to take a risk and venture into the unknown from time to time, I was unlikely to get a hold of my dreams and ambitions.
Your comfort zone might appear to be a safe haven from the fear of failure, buht it’s a place where success also rarely visits.
9. Yes, you can beat self doubt
Confidence is a precious commodity that few folk possess in abundance. Everyone suffers from wobbles in their self belief. It only becomes a problem when it starts to limit what you accomplish in life. There’s no need to be a victim of a lack of confidence. Anyone can beat self doubt by using the right tools and techniques. I’ve found one of the best antidotes to confidence issues is to put on a brave front and face up to whatever it is you doubt about yourself. Of course, it’s a solution that pushes you right out there into uncomfortable territory – but it’s well worth it.
Self doubt can be healthy when it spurs you onwards and upwards to ever greater things, but it needs to be deal with when it paralyzes your enjoyment of the fullest riches of life.
10. There’s never a good reason to beat yourself up
It never fails to shock me how cruel we are to ourselves. We indulge in such self abusive thoughts that we’d class it as bullying if we overheard the words being spoken out towards someone else. All because we’re fallible and imperfect and human. It’s as easy to be positive as it is to put yourself down, so why do we prefer to engage in all this negative self talk? About 10 years ago, I recognized the damage I was inflicting on my self image when I was overly tough at not being able to adopt a healthier lifestyle. After I gave myself a break and stopped sabotaging my own happiness, I finally lost weight and got fit. Being kind to yourself is the ultimate gift of freedom.
Learn to accept and appreciate each aspect of who you are: all your strengths and weaknesses; the parts you love as well as those you dislike, and all the mistakes and triumphs. It’s this complicated mixture that makes you unique – and that’s definitely a fact worth celebrating.
What matters isn’t how tiny or massive the revelation is, but the power it has to transform how you view your life. Even small, seemingly insignificant events will have a big impact – if you let them.
I’m sure you too have had more than a few ‘A-Ha!’ moments during your lifetime.
What would you add to the list above? Which little revelations of your own have changed how you view life? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below. I’d love to hear from you.
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Hi Scott,
Indeed life is jammed packed with full of learning experiences and life changing moments if we are receptive to it. Reading this article and gaining insights to the 10 revelations that have transformed how you view life is one of these moments for me. Here are some of the thoughts I had as I read through your points.
1. Never apologise for who you are
I love this point. It is so important to embrace and accept ourselves for the way we are. When I was younger, the pressure to conform to the expectations of my elders was really strong. Such is the cultural norms of growing up in an Asian society. As a result, I had to suppress many sides of who I truly was, leading to great unhappiness and self-doubt. Today, I am no longer bothered by such things. I listen carefully to advice and suggestions and make my own decisions and choices. For one thing, I can’t wait to play Mortal Kombat 2011 even though it is truly one of the most violent games I have ever seen. The key here is to be able to tell the difference between a game and reality. (in truth, i like the game for its atmosphere, over the top action and cheesey one-liners…:P)
3. Ordinary people can do great things too
I like to think that superheroes are geniuses are ordinary people who do great things. As outsiders, we only see the results without all the hard work or suffering that goes into acquiring the skills and wisdom they have. For those of us who follow comics and superheroes, we would know that they go through so much hardship and suffering that they are super for their resilience. But whether we have super powers or not, we all have our fears, doubts and problems in one way or another. It is how we respond to the challenges of life that truly matters.
As for what I would add, it would be to focus on the solutions and not the problem. When we take a proactive approach to problems and challenges, we are likelier to triumph over them and influence the situation in our favour. This has been one of my foundational life revelations.
Thank you for sharing this lovely article! :)
Irving the Vizier
Hi Irving,
‘Fitting in’ with other people’s ideas of who we should be and how we should be will always have a side-effect. Perhaps not straightaway but sometime in the future, there is usually a negative reaction. Some might go off the rails and rebel, while many others will be unhappy just as you felt.
It’s true … all we focus on are the prized qualities of someone else and the outward signs of their success. We tend to overlook the struggles they might have faced to get there. Our roads taken in life are as different as we are.
I like your revelation of searching for solutions instead of getting stuck on the problem. By staying trapped in a negative situation or problem we limit our thinking to only those things we can see. Problem solving, on the other hand, requires creativity and a free flow of ideas.
I’m glad you enjoyed the article – and thank you for adding to it with your own views.
You make some interesting points about us choosing whether or not we allow a fresh insight to change our views for good. It’s a shame when we are so stuck in our set ways of thinking that we don’t allow fresh perspectives in.
I found No. 7 particularly helpful: “You’ll always feel second best”.
Jealousy and envy aren’t good feelings to have in response to how well other people are doing compared to you. If we see the things that others have as indicators of success, we are likely to go after these instead of our own measures of success. For example, owning the latest gadgets might be seen as a sign of doing well but this doesn’t mean anything to me. I could be tempted to chase after this goal simply because others value it – and I feel under constant pressure to keep up with them.
As you say, it’s important that we decide upon what matters to us and how we view success as it applies to us.
Hi Leigh,
I certainly agree that it’s a waste when we ignore the chance to alter our attitudes. The point of a learning experience is to shake up our old ways of thinking. Otherwise, what’s the point of having them?
I used to pay too much attention to how well other people were doing compared to myself. It was a relief when I discovered it’s a false method of judging yourself because no one’s journey is the same – our opportunities for success are totally different.
Thank you for sharing your comment today.
Hi Scott,
I love the upbeat nature of these revelations. I do find myself saying sorry for being who I am, especially when I make mistakes or don’t come up to the standards set by someone else. But I realize this isn’t a very healthy approach to encourage positive self esteem.
I’m also prone to putting off things until tomorrow especially those things that I’m nervous of, or feel awkward about. I guess if I keep pushing them to one side I’ll never get round to them. This isn’t really a preferable option.
This is a wonderful collection. Thank you for the boost in my approach to life today!
Hi Kathleen,
It’s a recipe for disappointment when we try to live up (or live down) to other people’s expectations of us. Either we are pushed too far to reach unrealistic standards or we find ourselves limited by unambitous views folk have for us. The only standards that truly ought to guide us are those that we choose. It’s good that you’ve recognize the downside of following others’ expectations of you.
Many thanks for leaving your comment.
I’d certainly add the revelation that I had last year when I took ill. Up to that point, I’d got bored with my job and was stuck in a rut with my personal life. Basically, I’d become complacent with things as they were. I thought of being proactive to try and change those parts of my life which dissatisfied me the most. But, predictably, I ignored the chances to change and did nothing about it.
Then I suffered a bout of poor health which laid me low for three months. I wasn’t able to do much of anything which was very difficult to deal with. I felt trapped. The biggest promise I made to myself was that I would never again take life for granted and would always aim to live as fully as possible.
Good health is worth more than anything. Without it a great life is impossible. That was my revelation.
Hi Andrew,
It seems that you had a dramatic realization about the importance of good health. Often, it does take a major event to stop us in our tracks and make us question the things that actually matter. I’m pleased that something positive emerged from a bad situation – your determination to go for a great life.
I’m grateful that you shared your insights with us.
These are great views on living a happy and fulfilled life.
‘Never apologize for who you are’ could be the battle cry of those of us who want to live our lives on our own terms. My attitude is that if I’m being myself then there’s no need to say sorry to anyone. When others have a problem with me being me, it’s something they have to deal with. I’m not changing to fit in with other people’s idea of who and what I ought to be. Of course, I’ll consider other people’s opinions as I do appreciate the feedbacks of others. Ultimately, any decision to change parts of my life are mine alone to take.
Longlasting change really should be embarked upon because you (and you alone) have the desire.
Thank you for sharing such an inspirational post, Scott.
Hi John,
Too many of us mould ourselves to better fit the requirements of others. If they have a problem with you, then it’s their problem. There’s nothing wrong in listening to someone else’s opinions as it’s wise to keep an ear open to the feedback of others. The trick is, of course, not to be ruled by those demands made of you.
Thank you for your comment.
Hello Scott
I often have feelings of a lack of confidence in myself. In the past this has meant me missing out on some potentially amazing opportunities at work. It’s a vicious circle- I’ve not taken action because there’s been doubts in my mind whether I could ever reach the goal.
Confidence can make or break our enjoyment of life and holds us back from achieving the potential rewards on offer.
A trick that helps me build my confidence levels is to begin by doing the smaller links in the overall chain first. I find that I’m more likely to panic when I bite off more than I can chew. Panic leads to me making mistakes and I end up in a mess.
Littles succeses are what boost my self belief. I actually end up taking more action towards the end result. Last year, I was promoted in my job after experimenting with this way of thinking.
All because I believed I could do it!
Hi Steph,
That’s an excellent strategy to build your confidence when trying something new. Just start with a tiny piece of the jigsaw and, once you feel able to move on, move onto the next part. A little ‘win’ is equally as motivating as a major success.
Well done on the job promotion. It’s amazing what we can achieve when we push the boundaries, isn’t it?
I’d like to throw in 2 revelations to your collection. Both have affected my approach to life quite significantly.
1. I sometimes pay too much attention to what others think and say about me and worry about this. I realize that most people are so concerned with their own lives that they don’t really care about what I get up to. I’m not the center of everyone else’s world after all ;)
2. Good friendships are like gold dust. A solid friendship where each person supports the other no matter what is very hard to come by. I went through a period when I got careless with how I treated friends and lost a few. I appreciate that friendships require time and effort to make sure they grow and endure. I’ve learned that when you value friendships, you receive the payback in the future
Hi Dean,
We’re all so pre-occupied with how we appear to the outside world that we spend needless time trying to put forward our ‘best self’. You make a good point that most folk aren’t that bothered as ‘I’m not the center of everyone else’s world’.
A reliable friend is a rare find and worth holding onto. I can count my close friends on the fingers of two hands, though there’s been many more over the years. The friends I have now have been a real support to me. Like you, I value them a great deal.
Thank you for suggesting these revelations. I’m sure they will help others.
Hi Scott,
I’ve recently been on a bit of a downer with myself for a variety of reasons. It’s so true what you write- we are unbelievable tough on ourselves.
I’m sure that how we treat our own self is an essential building block in our happiness. It’s argued that we shouldn’t let the opinions of strangers affect our self belief but there’s no way we can ignore our own views on who we are.
Very few of my girlfriends are any good at positive affirmations and this means we all end up pretty miserable. Each of us gives the others as much helpful feedback as we can. I know this helps to balance out my self sabotage.
I’m going to try and be kinder to myself from now on. Thanks for the encouragement.
Hi Donna,
‘Self sabotage’: that’s an interesting term for negative thoughts.
It’s wonderful to hear that you’re going to be kinder to yourself. It won’t be too long until you improve such things as your self confidence and self belief.
Your list of revelations has come at exactly the right time for me. I’ve been thinking about how I can do more with my life and realize that a lot of it comes down to my attitude towards new opportunities.
I’m prone to playing it safe in a lot of areas and I guess that’s why I’ve never really had a job that I love. The sensible option usually feels safer than committing myself to following my heart by working at something that excites me. As time goes on, the more I’m convinced I should get out of my comfort zone and take a few more risks.
Hi Mark,
Staying firmly within your comfort zone feels safe but, as you point out, it stops you from seizing new and exciting opportunities. Risk taking is about deliberately moving into the unknown where there’s no guarantee yo . However, if playing it safe isn’t giving you satisfaction, what is there to lose by attempting a few risks from now on?
Many thanks for adding to the discussion.
Hi Scott
I agree with all of your points, especially the two about never apologizing for who we are and not beating ourselves up. Like most people, I do struggle with keeping a healthy sense of self. We are slow to self praise and quick to self criticize. The result is a negative view of our abilities and a failure to ever be satisfied with who we are and what we do. Practising the technique of positive affirmation helps, at least in my experience.
I feel I can take on the world when I quietly tell myself I can!
Hi Julie,
Positive affirmations are a powerful weapon when used against an endless stream of negative self talk. We put ourselves in a much stronger place psychologically when we quit ‘self sabotaging’.
Thank you for your comment.
What an inspiring article. I have read it, and re-read it, hoping the points will become part of my nature. I think that lot of issues people have nowadays (and throughout history) have stemmed from people seeking permission and approval for things they do in life, rather than going with their gut instincts.
Hi Roy,
Waiting for other people’s permission to live out aspects of our life restricts us. Why do we need their permission when the power to take action lies in our own hands? Grant yourself permission to do what you must and you unlock so much potential.
Many thanks for sharing your views here.
Scott,
My wife is the main carer for her elderly parents and this means she is called upon at short notice. I know she sees it as her duty and never complains about the demands made on her. I worry that she takes on way too much and ends up exhausted. I encourage her to take it easy and help out as much as possible. But she feels guilty at even considering having time out to herself. As you highlight, she’d be stronger for her parents if she looked after herself first.
Personally, I always believed in the old fashioned view that it’s a sign of weakness for a man to show emotion. I’m a lot calmer and balanced since I ditched this prehistoric attitude ;-)
Hi Matthew,
I understand your wife’s point of view as it’s one shared by most of us: that it’s selfish to put ourselves before others. The guilt comes because we’re brought up to place our needs second. In a situation where someone else needs our attention, we give it. Finding some way somehow to re-dress the balance between her own needs and the to help her parents will benefit your wife’s wellbeing – and better equip her to deal with that caring role.
I appreciate you stopping by with your comment.
Hi Scott,
I believe that we are living in a world where we are expected to be “The best”-a standard, often set, by the media. I think aspiring to something is a good motovator, however when unachievable expectations are our goal, surely we are only setting ourselves up for dissapointment?
In addition to doing more of what you love, I would suggest spending more time with the people you love, and people who love you.
Hi Vera,
The media certainly helps shape the definition of who and what ‘the best’ is – though we also buy into these myths. When we ignore outside influences and set our own standards, only our opinions matter. This is easier said than done because so much of these opinions are based on what other folk think of us.
Many thanks to you for adding to the discussion.
Hi Scott.
I read about taking risks. Since having a close brush with death back in 2002, it has been pointed out to me that i seem to be attracted to riskier activities than most people. I think that there must be a happy medium between risky behaviour and comfortable behaviour. If anyone can suggest where this is, I would be pleased to hear it.
Hi John,
Before taking any kind of risk, everyone can benefit from having a time out before acting. Weigh up things like: what are your realistic chances of success or failure; what could you be missing out on by not going ahead, what next step will have the maximum impact. Most importantly, ask yourself whether you’re able to withstand any loss or negative effect if you were to fail totally. These type of questions should help you work out the level of risk you’re willing to take. It’ll also help you define ‘too risky’ for yourself.
Thank you for sharing your own experience of risk taking.
I think it’s helped for me to realize that I am who I am, and I should be happy about that. I’ve often had to take that little voice inside – and crush it. The little voice that tells me I’m not good enough, not worth it, or should have accomplished so much more. When I crush that little voice, and let my true self come outside; then life is so much easier and fun to live.
Love your blog here. The design is fantastic. What fun!
Christian
Hi Christian,
Accepting who you are (warts and all!) is a brilliant thing to do. It takes quite an effort to erase the past years of beating yourself up, but it’s very possible. This new and improved approach to the way you think about yourself will open up many, many possibilities.
Thank you for your comment – and kind words.
Scott, thanks for a thought provoking post. I certainly agree with all of your points.
I particularly related to point 7, this has been a personal realisation for me over the last 12 months. Recognising that comparing yourself to others is a zero sum game. Your only true comparison is to yourself and continually trying to live with awareness so that you are always able to do the best that you can do at any particular moment in time.
The other lesson I have found valuable is to reflect on the patterns and themes in my life. I’ve been struck by the fact that when I reflect on this there are these clear patterns that are almost as though they are learning experiences sent by life. Like an invisible hand guiding my life. Connected to this there have also been key people who have been like allies to help me along the way – some of these allies have been very challenging and in the moment, not people that I have warmed to! However when I look back I’ve appreciated the learning that they have provided me.
Hi Steve,
“Your only true comparison is to yourself”. Indeed – this is the only benchmark that ever matters. We can review our own progress much more meaningfully than that of others. Sure, we can use another person’s experience to learn from, but actually comparing what they achieve in relation to you is useless. Worse still, there’s a strong likelihood you’ll end up feeling inadequate and demotivated.
I like your suggestion to find the patterns that emerge over and over again in your life. These are good indicators of a common approach to things. Life may seem a jumble but we’re usually quite consistent in the way we do things. Identify these themes and I’m sure deeper-level attitudes, likes, dislikes will become more apparent. When you see them, you’re much more able to enhance or change them … if that’s what you want.
I appreciate you taking the time to leave your thoughts here.
Hi Scott,
First time here. I like it! For me, the most amazing revelation happened when I was 14. I kind of mark it as the beginning of my personal evolution. It was the day I realized that other people can have access to all the same data that I do, and still make a different choice. And neither of us are wrong, because the data is interacting with our particular value set.
Which was extremely useful at the beginning of the school year when my stepson’s mother decide not to let him skip a grade– even though he’s 98 percentile, and even though I would have killed for the challenge when I was an understimulated 4th grader– she believes that it’s better for him to have his longtime friends around him as he heads into middle school. Which is a well reasoned, heart-centred arguement even though it’s not what I would have chosen for him. Damnit.
Great article!
Hi Shanna,
It’s great to welcome you here at Vivid Ways.
It’s always surprising how the same information presented in the same way can mean different things to different people. As much as we try, we’re never totally able to look at the facts objectively and divorce ourselves from the filter of our values, personal experiences etc. That’s why it is very helpful to keep a cool head and properly weigh up a situation before taking any action.
Your stepson’s schooling is a good example of how one issue can be approached from a variety of perspectives … with no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer. I’m sure it’ll work out for the best.
Many thanks for leaving your comment.
Lovely and inspiring post Scott – i am so glad i ran into your blog. Number 3 struck a chord with me. Anyone who ever did anything deemed as great was considered “ordinary” from a societal standpoint at one time or another – probably one factor out of many that drove them to be great.
I remember reading in a book once (not quite sure now which it was) where it was stated that there are people who are not even born yet that are going to do great, inspiring and innovation things. Shouldn’t we have a head start already? I for sure plan to take advantage of that fact :-)
Hi Sanjaya,
I love the way of thinking that there are always great achievements, discoveries and actions still to be made. Even more so that these could be made a reality – today – by any one of us.
Thank you for joining in the discussion.
Hi Scott, first time here and thanks for the excellent post. After reading this I can tell you that I will never again apologise for being who I am. Inspirational stuff mate, good karma will come your way.
Matt
Hi Matt,
That sounds like a great promise to make to yourself.
Thank you for dropping by with your comment.
Hi Scott, this is my first time on your blog and I guess things happen for a reason as this post is what I needed to hear in this precise moment. Being different from my family and friends, having made different choices, having different goals and passions, I always felt like I needed to apologize for not being more like them. I felt bad and I had a very low self-esteem. I still do this and I try explaining how I am, why am I like this and almost asking forgiveness. You are right, we can be intensely cruel towards ourselves. While having a conversation with my best friends tehy said you are ok as you are! Sure, you are different but we respect you for who you are. I will have to work on number 1 and 2 and 9 and 10… but at least now I know it is ok to be me.
Hi Sandra,
There’s pressure – both spoken and unspoken – to fit in with what other people expect and want from us. When this gets too much, we find ourselves apologizing for not reaching this ideal. Or, as you say, our self worth and esteem is affected. Your friends’ advice is spot on … it’s more than ok to be different!
I appreciate you adding to the discussion here.
I like #7 the most. A lot of people spend time comparing themselves with others that it becomes destructive. People get stuck chasing whatever their neighbor or friend is doing just because the others are getting ahead. You’re right focus on the your own personal journey, be happy with the progress that others have made and make them as inspirations to power through your own path.
Thanks for sharing Scott
Hi there,
The fine balance is seeing other people’s success and achievements as motivators, rather than as a source of envy. When someone else gets great results, it can be a real spur to our own efforts. The downside, however, is when we ourselves get demoralised if we don’t see similar successes. Jealousy is one of the most destructive emotions out there.
Thank you for adding your own views.
very inspiring list scott
i am glad i came across your blog today
Hi Farouk,
Thank you for stopping by with such kind words!
After my Dad passed away I found myself making eye contact with laborers working on the road and smiling at them. Or, asking store clerks how they were doing and searching their eyes as I listened. Losing Dad was realization of the depths of pain possible on this earth, and as I looked across that cemetery, I thought of all the aching hearts that had come before mine. My addition to your list is – be kind to all the people you touch, and give freely to those who need your grace. It’s amazing – the amount of joy added to my life just by being nice to others.
Hi Carla,
It really is wonderful that a sad time for you has had a positive effect on others. Even the smallest gesture can have a major impact on the life of someone going through a difficult patch – a few kind words, a show of support, or a tiny act of thoughtfulness. There can never be too much positivity spread about in the world, whether to stranger or friend.
Thank you for telling us about your experience.
This is so beautiful and inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
I would add:
1. Only hurt people hurt other people – try to understand when others hurt you that they are coming from a broken place
2. Everybody hurts: be patient with each other – don’t get so caught up in wanting things the way you want them that you fail to realize the hurting people around you
3. Be kind to your family – Any fool can take family for granted, and any fool will, but you shouldn’t be one.
Hi Osayi,
“Everybody hurts”: There’s a great benefit to taking the time to think about what other people are feeling before we act. It’s easy to retaliate by causing hurt when we get hurt ourselves. It might not even be deliberate, but no amount of hurt is ever put right by hurting someone back. A little amount of understanding and patience can solve huge problems.
Many thanks for sharing your perspective.
I love the word “Revelation” because everyone has one on a specific subject that they might be experiencing. Anyhow, it caught my attention when the word “revelation” was mentioned.. Everyone is different, and has a different experience, for instance myself. I use to have a bad attitude and drank a lot and did drugs extensively or abusively. I came to realization that I might end up in a ditch one of these days, like the one I seen at the time when I started to think about my own life. I didn’t change on my own, I know it was God that changed me because I cried out to Him. The next thing I knew after the revelation, I didn’t have a desire for all those bad things that were destroying my life. So, revelation comes to everyone differently and that is what I wanted to point out, because there becomes a reality of who you are and what you were created for, for Him. The same happened for my whole family, wife, son and 2 daughters. It is possible for some and for some it can become unfortunately bad. That is why I like this post so that I can share my experience with everyone out there, it is exciting when revelation comes and you want to share with everybody or the whole world. Hey, this is a true experience and I sure hope it helps someone out there, because at one time I was hoping someone could tell me there was hope.
Hi Franklin,
Hope is a very powerful, deep feeling that can guide us through the darkest times. Without it, where would we be? We can find it in even the smallest places if we really look for it.
Thank you for sharing such a personal story with us … one underpinned with hope.
I like #9 the most – “9. Yes, you can beat self doubt”. I think it is the most important one if you want to succeed because if you doubt yourself then you will never reach your goals and there will always be this obstacle in your way.
Hi Troy,
Self doubt is a barrier to achieving anything where we have to challenge ourselves. It destroys self confidence, esteem and keeps us stuck exactly where we are today. Dealing with doubt is one of the best investments you can make.
Many thanks for leaving your comment here today.
I think your first statement about never apologizing resonated with me on a deep level. Until recently i have always lived my life in accordance to the views of others. I was placating, supplicating and always tried to avoid conflict.
The so called “aha” moment was in my professional life when i realized that people were walking all over me – i had no authority, no say, no value even though most regarded me much more of an expert in my field that my co-workers. Its about how you project yourself – not in an obnoxious manner, but stringent, holding yourself to a higher standard. Its about shifting your mind-frame and being the best in all you do.
When you set yourself such benchmarks and strive for perfection its only natural you don’t apologize about who you are. Nowadays i strive to set the highest standards possible and strive to meet them – that way i do not owe any justification or apology to anyone.
Hi Sanjaya,
It is, indeed, a sad fact that so many of us restrict ourselves by living in line with other people’s views. In the end, by trying so hard to please others, we end up pushing our own happiness and fulfilment to one side.
Many thanks for describing how you dealt with the issue, and how liberated you now feel.
Scott,
This message resonates so deeply with so many people, myself included. I hope you find a way to get this article out to the masses as I think it can help so many! Thanks for taking the time to express these points with such a compassionate understanding.
Hi there,
I’m pleased you found the article helpful – I hope many people might find it useful too.
I appreciate you leaving your thoughts.
#4 is the absolute truth. I know sometimes it feels like there isn’t enough time in the day, so therefore its easy to justify putting important things off until the next day. This is probably the one revelation that causes me the most problems. Really, I think becomes an exercise in prioritizing. I guess we all have our weaknesses. Thanks for the insight.
Hi Matt,
Yes, usually there never seems to be enough hours in the day – 24 should be upgraded! But, you’re spot on … working out your priorities is key if you want to do the stuff that really matters to you. Otherwise, truly important things are bound to slip through the gaps.
Many thanks for leaving your comment today.
This is the right article to people who viewed life on a negative aspect. The 10 little revelations to transform life would serve as a very effective guideline. In fact, this is a very encouraging article. The most important thing here is acceptance and to stand firm on what every decision we are going to make that would cause a big changes in our life. Changes for the better!
Hi Shed,
Standing firm on any decision we take is a good tactic but, of course, it’s helpful to keep a degree of flexibility about it. Exact circumstances change once we set out on a course of action and we might have to alter what we do next.
But, I agree with you – decisive action is more beneficial than constantly um-ing and ah-ing about which route to take.
Many thanks to you for sharing your views
Some things shouldn’t wait for tomorrow. First let me say thank you for writing this post as I love all subjects revolving around human psychology and making your dreams come true. The topic that rang loudest with me is some things shouldn’t wait for tomorrow. In my work it is very easy to put things off because you really feel like you have all the time in the world which just leads to procrastination. When I am travelling abroad and I know I am on a limited schedule I get so much more done. In the U.S. it feels like I get a lot less work related tasks done as I can always do it later or put it off for a little bit. However, some things shouldn’t wait for tomorrow and I am going to do my very best to remember that and live in the moment of today which is all we really have.
Hi Robert,
It does seem to help in getting things done when we have strict deadlines to stick to. Either ones that we set for ourselves or those that are dictated by our work. One thing’s for sure – when we have moveable deadlines, the strong urge is to push them back even further. “I’ll get round to that tomorrow”, we promise.
By asking ourselves what really shouldn’t wait until tomorrow (the genuinely important stuff), we can be moved to clear the decks and get on with it.
Many thanks for taking the time to leave your comment today.
Scott,
I really like your first and second points. I think that as time goes on in your life, you worry less and less as to who you are, but it never quite diminishes. However, there is always this omnipresent pressure to conform and be like everybody else. I think that leads to mediocrity.
Putting yourself first in my mind is a noble idea, because like you said, it puts you in a better position to help your friends and family. What’s wrong with making yourself healthy? You’ll more than likely to live longer and be around for your grandchildren. What’s wrong with starting a small business for yourself? You might end up financially independent and be able to help your loved ones and hopefully endeavor to be a little philanthropic. I guess these are my interpretations of your first two points.
Hi Lloyd,
Most of us spend far too much of our precious time trying to be like everyone else. If only we used that time to working out how to be ourselves instead. Mediocrity is always the result of fitting in with what is ‘average’. Be more than average.
Many thanks for offering your thoughts today.
I really like the first and the last points; they seem to go well together.
Thank you for this. I’m only a passerby, looking for things to occupy my troubled mind, until I finally stumbled to your site. I’ve been feeling down lately and your words seem to come directly from my close friend’s mouth (who, I should say, I haven’t had contact in a couple of weeks lately). Positive thoughts and words of wisdom always seem to ease my mind, especially if it comes from someone close (in this case, somethings that my friend would most likely say). Thank you again.
Hi Patricia,
I very much appreciate you leaving your thoughts on the article. Passersby are always welcome here, and I hope you’ll drop past again.
Why not grab the moment and get back in contact with your friend – you both might be needing each other right now.
Thank you again.
Ordinary People Can Do Great Things – This is one of the major principles that I live by. I’m an average guy with no extraordinary talents. However, I firmly believe that by taking action steps we can all do amazing things. That is the principle that gets me up in the morning when nothing seems to be going right. If I take action, I tell myself, great things will happen.
Hi Sean,
The only real difference between an ordinary life and an extraordinary life is … action. Without that, nothing worthwhile is ever possible.
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts here.
A really inspiring post, I’m from a very ordinary background but I’m doing well for myself … I firmly believe any one can be successful and attract what they want in to their lives. At the same time the big difference between ordinary and extraordinary is “extra” … don’t just take action, take more action than the average person does and your life will soon change …