You Can Do It! Winning Strategies to Conquer Self Doubt
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When did you last hear that little voice of self doubt whispering negative thoughts in your ear? You want to try something new or you have a great idea, but that voice inside your head tells you that “you’re not good enough”, “you’ll never succeed”, or “it’ll never work”. Pretty soon, you decide not to give it a go at all.
Self doubt is a destructive feeling that sneaks up on all of us. There’s not a person around who hasn’t experienced a degree of self doubt at some time in their lives. Even the most successful people sometimes doubt themselves – but they’ve learnt how to deal with it and still get on with achieving their goals.
The good news is that it’s perfectly possible to beat self doubt and set yourself free to do great things… with the right techniques and a bit of practice.
A Little Self Doubt Can be Healthy
Feeling self doubt is totally normal. Feeling it, however, does not mean that you’re going to fail. Self doubt can make us stop and think hard about a course of action we want to take. It’s good when we ask ourselves whether we need to improve our knowledge and skills in order to help us succeed at something. It’s not so good, however, when that self doubt causes a complete lack of faith in our own abilities and is then used as an excuse for not taking action.
Too Much Self Doubt is Damaging
Self doubt is like a thief – it steals the possibilities from your life. It makes your experience of being alive much less rich because you don’t take risks; it takes away your desire to achieve anything much of value, and it lessens the joy you could have from living a full life… leaving you unhappy and poorer in spirit because you really know you could be more, do more, and give so much more.
So, how do we stop self-doubt from sabotaging our goals and ambitions? Here are a few techniques and tips for you to try out next time it appears:
First… Believe in Yourself
Want to know something, a fact you might have forgotten because no one’s told you for a while? You are a unique and talented person with the potential to be successful. Sounds cheesy? I don’t mind, because it happens to be a reality. Accepting this as a statement of truth is the foundation of beating self doubt. Believe it.
Watch Out for Doubt
We can be quite happily going about our business, feeling good about ourselves and optimistic about what we can achieve, when – from out of nowhere – some rogue thoughts like these ones creep up on us:
- I’m not worthy…
- I can’t do it…
- It’s impossible for me…
- I’d like to try it but…
- I don’t deserve this…
These kind of phrases usually show a wavering of our confidence. Be aware of when these thoughts strike and try to pinpoint what type of situation prompts them. Once you learn to spot these phrases and see them objectively for what they are, you can work to minimise their effects on you.
Recognise Your Doubt
The first step in defeating self doubt is not to ignore it or pretend it will go away. It’s impossible to defeat a problem unless you acknowledge it exists and bring it out into the open. Instead, we need to face our self doubt full on and see it for what it is – a form of fear to be conquered. It’s only by recognising this fear that we can get on with what needs to be done, in spite of it.
Doubts go round and round in our heads like the dirt in a vacuum cleaner, the same old stuff getting stuck again and again. It can help to get these thoughts out in the open by writing down any doubts and fears that come to mind.
Examine Your Doubt
Now that you’ve acknowledged the self doubt, you can begin to identify what triggers it. There is often a pattern to the way we feel, with similar situations sparking off the same emotions in us. Look for a specific area of your life that always creates a sense of uncertainty in you. Work out what factors set off those doubts.
When did these negative feelings first start? Perhaps, you got turned down when you asked out that pretty guy or girl on a date in junior high school. Or, maybe someone criticised your work many years ago. It could be you’ve carried these feelings with you to this day and still give them the power to knock your confidence.
Take Action
The most effective antidote to self doubt is to take action. That might sound obvious, but it isn’t quite so simple when you don’t believe in your abilities. The solution to this is to devise a plan on how you’ll reach your goal. The key is in the preparation: you might need to study and learn further information or train and practice with a new skill. By preparing yourself, when self doubt appears you can be reassured that: “I’m ready for this moment. I can do it”.
When you do start off on the journey to achieving your goal, take small steps to ease yourself in. Rome wasn’t built in a day so don’t take on too much. As you start seeing results your confidence will increase and you can tackle larger parts of your plan. Nothing breeds confidence like a little success!
Get Fired Up
Spend some time reminding yourself of your dream and why it’s so important to you. Imagine you’re living your ideal result: how does it make you feel? Excited, energized, full of passion? Let yourself be flooded with positive emotions. Make a note of how you can use your strengths and abilities to achieve this perfect situation. You can refer to these notes when you are faced with self doubt. It’s your vision: don’t let anyone or anything – including doubt – stop you from turning it into a reality.
Appreciate Your Accomplishments
Whenever I’m confronted with self doubt, one tactic that helps me is to devote some time and space to reflect on the things I’ve already achieved and succeeded at. I let the positive memories play around in my mind until my mood changes and I start feeling better. These don’t have to be on a grand scale to matter – those little ‘wins’ count too.
Keep a Record of Achievement
It’s useful to have a ready supply of ‘feelgood’ reminders to hand. Try keeping a diary or journal in which you write down a list of all the things you achieve on a daily basis. Looking back over this will help you keep track of what you can do, rather than highlighting what you didn’t do.
Surround Yourself With Supporters
It often helps to discuss your fears and doubts with people you are close to. Other folk are much more likely to be objective about your feelings and their advice and encouragement can help cut through your insecurities.
Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
Finally, here’s the bottom line…you’re only human so you’re bound to fail at some things and succeed at others. We all make mistakes, so accept it and don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead of being knocked down by them, use these mistakes to guide you to improve next time you try. Learn to forgive yourself for failing and don’t replay your mistakes over and over in your mind. This is a waste of time and simply serves to keep you trapped in the frustrating cycle of self doubt.
You can’t avoid self doubt as it’s a natural reaction to pursuing your dreams and stretching beyond the limits of the life you’re accustomed to. But, self doubt shouldn’t be the reason to stop trying to live as fully and as breathtakingly as you can.
When you next come face-to-face with self doubt, recognise it and take a few minutes to readjust your focus using the tips and techniques suggested above. Then, you can stare it down and still have the confidence to move onwards to achieving your goals.
What self doubt do you have in your life? What advice do you have on how to beat self doubt?
Please share your thoughts in the comments section below. I’d love to hear from you.
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Nice post Scott!
I too have grappled with self-doubt at many points in my life. My motto for dealing with problems in life, which includes self-doubt, is to “focus on the solutions and not the problem.” Since self-doubt and worry takes up energy, by channeling my energy into purposeful action, I not only resolve the issue to the best of my ability, I also use up my energy for doubting myself. This is largely what you have covered in “Take Action.”
I also like your points on “Get Fired Up.” Having read Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning,” I am fully convinced that if you have a very strong purpose or goal, it will give you the motivation to deal with any challenge you face.
Thanks for sharing the other great ways of conquering self-doubt Scott. This is a very useful article!
Hi The Vizier,
Self doubt can indeed be such a drain on us on many different levels e.g. psychologically, emotionally etc. This weakens us and makes it much more difficult to fight. I like your philosophy of concentrating on the solution, rather than the problem. It’s a much more productive and positive attitude to have.
Thank you for pointing out the book by Frankl- I’ve not come across it before.
Finding that one main goal to aim all our efforts and motivation towards is the ultimate situation. With that focus, we can put achieving the goal above our doubts about whether we can get there.
Thank you for raising these thoughtful issues.
Thanks for the great post. I definitely think that taking action is the best way to quieten self doubt. Just taking the next step is so helpful in building our confidence.
James
Hi James,
Definitely. It’s only by doing something that we really begin to get over our self doubt. We might need to think through what our plan of attack is, but there comes a time when we need to act. Success is only possible when we give it a try, otherwise we’ll never know- and our self doubt will still linger.
Thank you for commenting.
Hi Scott:
It was refreshing, insightful, real and doable…thank you for all of this in your very effective message on dealing with self doubt. I am a psychologist, counseller, a Dad, an artist and a writer. I know, and have grappled with confidence shaking self doubt many times. I, like you sugested in your post maintain a running journal of my day and this “bouys” me up when the waves of self-doubt start to erode my confidence level. I have learned to rejoice in and celebrate my uniqueness and accomplishments regardless of their size. Great “stuff” from your “pen”. I look forward to following your blog regularily.
Jim M.Matheson: “The View From My Side Of the Road”
Hi Jim,
Thank you for your comment. I can imagine juggling your different roles – especially that of a dad – gives you plenty of opportunities to experience the self doubts others have as well.
The idea of keeping a journal to detail your achievements is an excellent idea. It’s reassuring to look back at see in black and white what you’ve been capable of before. Your self doubt will find it harder to argue against the facts – no matter how large or small that achievement is!
Self-doubt is something that I have been dealing with for many years. I have been working hard on conquering it, and your post introduced me to some new ways to get over it. Thanks so much!
Hi Autumn,
I’m so glad you found the article helpful. The first step in overcoming our self doubt is to try to take action. Often, even just making a small move in the right direction can help us immensely. Please let us know how you get on.
Many thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment.